I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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