I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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