If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
