She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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