Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I need help removing her.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
false alarm, still single
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
