no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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