he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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