I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
