What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's shark week go big or go home
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
