i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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