If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
