I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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