Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's blow job season.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
