Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
