i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
