Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
