Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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