I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
