Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
