Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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