Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Randomize
