big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
