she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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