Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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