WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
