You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
