I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
