summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
