I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
