How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
