Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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