it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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