Got a toothbrush?
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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