All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
