I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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