you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
