Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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