i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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