Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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