Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize