Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
