I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
