first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
