You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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