Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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