is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just google imaged poop.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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