she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
