Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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