he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
