I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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