so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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